THE MACHINE
by Sakura-and-Hinata-must-DIE
Summary: Time travel fic with Hinata and sakura bashing! NO YOAI


**The Machine**

A weak, pink-haired kunouichi, female ninja, was trying to create a machine to make heartthrob Sasuke Uchiha fall in love with her. She was Sakura Haruno is a sorry excuse for a gennin, beginner ninja, who wastes her time daydreaming about boys she has absolutely no chances with. The only reason she passed ninja academy is that she is always finding her ugly face behind books and because the academy teacher hoped that if they sent her to battle unprepared, she would die painfully. The big forehead freak was rude, ugly, and snotty. She could never win the black haired boy's love with her square, plain body, so she plans to force his love though science. She would build a love machine and Sasuke would be hers at last.

However, her family was poor because nobody would hire the people that spawned the pink headed witch. She needed money to build her machine or she would die a bitter, lonely old lady with six dozen cats and a turtle. She instantly though of Hinata Hyuuga, the only person in the hidden leaf village, including the civilians and children, as weak or ugly as her. She ran towards the Hyuuga clan's main house screaming Hinita's name. A hideous girl with short black hair and a large white jacket stumbled out of the clan's dojo covered in cuts in bruises. She was sparring with one of her four-year-old cousins and was losing badly. Hinita has always been a failure and despite being the oldest child she was past over as heiress for her younger sister, Hanabi, who unlike her loser sister can fight. Hinita is shy, stupid, and cowardly. She hides behind her teammates anytime there is trouble and twirls her fingers, fidgets, and cries. When Sakura came and demanded money and help, she gets scared and stuttered out an affirmative. Sakura started to explain her wonderful machine to the freak but threatened to kill her repeatedly if she tried to use it to steal her Sasuke. Hinita swore that she would not in a soft, shy tone and decided to use it to win Naruto's love. The two love struck girls would win their men.

The two unintelligent girls start to attempt building their love machine. They are both pathetic at everything though and constantly hurt themselves. Sakura broke three fingers, got dozens of splinters in her left arm, and got something imbedded in one of her eyes. Hinita fractured her wrist, broke her noise, had her ear cut off, and stabbed herself six times. Both girls were covered in minor and major cuts, burns and bruises. They both lacked more than basic knowledge in science and had no ideal what they were doing. They started taking apart appliances and scraps of metal they got from the store. They electrocuted themselves a lot and attached any wires that touched. Three days and eight trips to the hospital later, and they were finished.

Both were so proud of the four feet tall piece of metal with wires hanging out that they called all of their "friends" to come see it. Of course when they realized that they did not have any friends they deiced to drag their teammates and sensei to come and their teammate's friends who they liked to pretend liked them to. People started to come and the freaks could barley contain their happiness.

The first team to come was eight who consist of Kiba Iunzuka and Shino Aburame who were Hinita's teammates and their jounin sensei, upper level ninja teacher, Kurenai Yuuhi. Kiba is an arrogant loud mouth who rushes into battle unprepared but always fights his hardest. His clan, the Iunzuka's are able to communicate and fight with dogs so he always has his puppy Akamura with him. Shino is emotionless and extremely quite and wears a coat with a high collar that covers the entire bottom half of his face and always has on sunglasses. His clan controls bugs and he always has plenty around and inside of him. Kurenai is a rookie jounin and a genjutsu, illusions, master and is teaching her first genin, beginner level ninja, team. None of them wanted to come but Hinita's stammered begging annoyed them to the point where they all said yes to shut her up.

Next to arrive was team ten member's Chouji Akimichi, Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara and their sensei Asuma Sarutobi. Chouji is and overweight blond who is always eating but if you call him fatso he will flatten you. Ino is also a blond and a rabid Sasuke fangirl. She is not very strong and the only jutsu she can perform his taking over other peoples mind when they are completely still and that leaves her body completely useless however she tries her hardest and is improving. Shikamaru is a lazy genius with an IQ of over two hundred who only likes watching clouds and playing board games such as go. He never wants to do anything or uses his intelligence because he thinks that everything is too troublesome. Asuma is a heavy smoker who takes his team out for barbeque frequently. The only reason team ten was there was because team eight forced them to come so that they could suffer being in Hinita and Sakura's presence as well.

Then team Gai showed up and the other two teams forced them to stay and be miserable with them. So Neji Hyuuga, TenTen, Rock Lee and Gai Maito the teacher were forced to stay. Neji is an emotionless genius with a troubled past, almost perfect byakugan eyes, pure white eyes that all Hyuuga are born with that can see almost three hundred and sixty degrees around them, and a strong belief in destiny. TenTen is a weapon specialist with bun pigtails and good skills. Rock Lee is an taijutsu, hand to hand combat, and has thick eyebrows, a bowl cut and wears a green spandex body suit with orange leg warmers. Gai looks the same except that his eyebrows are even larger. They are both very determined and believe strongly in the power of youth. The hug and cry a lot to which scares everyone around them. Misery loves company.

The two girls refused to start til team seven, their crushes, got there. They did not show up until two hours after they were suppose to show up because Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha had to hunt down their jounin sensei Kakashi Hatake who is always at least three hours late for everything with crappy excuses. Naruto is a loud mouth who loves to play pranks and orange , dreams of becoming hokage, the head ninja of the village, and has the nine tailed fox, Kyubi, sealed inside his belly the day he was born. He had a hard childhood and he is growing stronger everyday overcoming the difficulties and getting everybody to except him. Sasuke is an angry boy with the personality of a stick and the looks of a god. He is from the once powerful Uchiha clan but his brother, Itachi, killed all of their relatives before leaving the village and Sasuke behind. Kakashi always wares a mask and has his leaf headband slanted so that it covers his right eye. He is a genius and in of the best ninjas in the village but he acts carefree and is always reading his _Ita Ita Paradise _novels and blushing. Team seven were all angry when they got there the boys over being two hours late and Kakashi for being an hour early. Though none of them wanted to see the last member of their team, Sakura.

The girls were so excited when they showed up that they started jumping up in down. Then after they finished embarrassing themselves they started running and circles and turning on the machine. They were so happy because finally their crushes would realize that they have always secretly loved them and were just acting shy. The two girls turned to their crushes and smiled, visions of their futures together flashing though both girls minds. The machine stated but neither one of its inventors were paying attention to what was happening around them despite the fact that they spent years learning to pay attention to your suuroundigs.

The machine started to spark and caught on fire. Both girls in side of it started to scream in pain. Nobody wanted to help them and just stared fascinated. The girls hair caught on fire and their skin started to melt. The smoke started to suffocate them and after three minutes of unbearable agony both girls died. The other just stared for a moment before Kakashi used a water technique and but it out. The group started to jump up and down and partying when they realized that both girls were really dead.

Shikamura stated to move wires around on a melted piece of the machine in boredom. He was glad that the two idiot girls were dead to but he thought that it was too troublesome to celebrate. The lazy genius stated to reconnecting the wires on the destroyed machine. Soon Kakashi, Neji, and Sasuke to help him. Considering that all of them are geniuses they sta red to create another machine. Considering that Sasuke was secretly a science fiction nerd and has a secrete collect hidden under the tatami mats in his room ans recommended making a time machine. The others agree and within an hour the four completed the portable time machine. They were all excited, though Shino, Kakashi, Shikamaru, and Neji hide it behind their stoic masks. They could not decide were to go and started to argue over it. Nobody could agree if they should go to the past or the future or the past. Even the people who agreed on the direction wanted to different years. Finally Naruto got bored of all the arguing and grabbed the closest lever and pulled towards himself. Everybody shut up and looked around them. There was a bright white light then they were on a blood covered battle field. Naruto took them back to the day that Kyubi was defeated by the fourth hokage. They watched horrified as the nine tailed fox attacked the village and then saw the fourth holding a baby in his arms and completing a long, complex jutsu that would cost him his life. Naruto unable to watch the out come he already knows is coming pulls the lever again.

They travel back in time t when the jounin were still children. The genins all saw this as a perfect chance for blackmail and went to search for their sensei's embarrassing childhood secrets. Team eight found out that Kurenai wanted to be a house wife and use to were pink cloths and pigtails everyday. Team gai learned that /gai was afraid of the color green as a child and hated being young and just wanted to grow up. Asuma's team found out that he use to put little ninja headbands on dolls so that he could play with them. Kakashi's past twas the most shocking of all he was an pyromaniac who sat peoples hair on fire and was put in a institution for his problem three times. They took lots of pictures and made lots of demands so the adults decided it was time to travel to the future.

They went to the future and notice multiple changes. Their were aliens in the village, shopping and talking pleasantly with the humans. Then they looked up and saw that the sky was a dark scarlet. They freaked out most though when they saw Naruto's face on the hokage monument and found out that he had become the sixth hokage. While Naruto was celebrating the rest decided that they did not like the future and wanted to go back to their own time. Kakashi pulled the lever and they returned to their own time.

The time machine broke they returned home because naruto had pulled away when they were traveling back. Nobody except Naruto wanted to go traveling again and the blond was not smart enough to fix the machine. To cheer him up they decided to though a party celebrating the fact that the two freaks were dead.

AN: Wow you finished my crappy story, you must be very bored or you just want to flame me. Have fun doing that I could care less what you think, the only reason I wrote the stupid story was for my sci-fi class. And yes I know I can't spell and a lot of this is horrible but hell I wrote it two weeks before the end of my senior year and I got a 92 so Im happy. Have fun flaming me if you do I will probably fall over laughing that somebody was so pathetic that they actually wasted time correcting this story. News flash my teacher already did that and I have everything you have to say on hard copy somewhere in the backpack I haven't had time to burn yet but I'm to lazy to go though it and fix them. So flame me and leave your address so I can respond, If you want to insult me that badly then a least let me cruse you out and mock you. THANKS!


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